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Thursday, February 12th, 2009
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9:46 pm - Spread Too Thin
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I know it's been ages since I've updated. Well, things have been going pretty bad... Well, busy mainly.
No doubt that I am currently spread too thin but I am trying to cut loose the fat and just focus on what matters most to me. Nothing can be done if my heart's not in it. Of course listening to people talk seems really good and deflecting to them is easy but that means not looking out for myself.
Perhaps that's what I am doing. Currently being stuck in things that I have no interest in and neglecting the things that matter. But then again, a lot of things matter to me but I don't have time to work on them.
Anyway, just wanted to blog to show that I am still alive.
jFrois out.
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| Wednesday, December 10th, 2008
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2:07 pm - A Good Break
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Things are getting better as the holidays progress. Falling into the mode of sleeping late and waking up late as well.
The desk so far is the clearest of the lot in the room clearing project. Kinda impossible to hit ideal status with the amount of stuff I have and am keeping. But I will try my best to use what I have instead of buying more and more of them. It is horrid really and I can say that I am disgusted with myself.
I am doing my best to clear the room. Seriously.
I'm suppose to be overseas right now though but yeah, good thing I am not cos I am spending time with Gabe and spending time clearing stuff.
But I will be flying off to Hokkaido next monday for an 8 days tour. Never really had good experiences with tours but I guess this is the best we have this year. Our Canada trip got screwed because the tour agency my parents chose couldn't get us plane tickets. Annoying really. But anyway, yeah, because of that, snowboarding in Whistler is no longer a reality.
Anyway, I have to get back to work.
JFrois out.
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| Sunday, November 23rd, 2008
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9:50 pm - Enough is Enough?
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What is going on this year? I seem to be hitting on barrier after another and it makes me so drained and detached from everything. There is no happiness or fun when it comes to work. I always believe that we should do things we enjoy else we just dread coming in to work. That is exactly what I am feeling now. I dread working and just thinking about it. I don't know...
Got told off today by my boss in church and as much as I hated it, I still had to be obedient and finish the work. There's still work to be done. No help from the camp i/c either. I don't know what to do right now. Just at a complete lost.
But there is a silver lining and I feel ever so grateful to have met my current beau. He wasn't one I would find myself having and spending so many smiles week but he made the week so totally bearable. Sure it was only one week since we've met that we got together but it is truly feeling a match made in heaven. Who would have thought after being hurt previously that I would find someone who can make my heart melt.
Gosh. I feel so sad about work but I find my smile I think about him. I sincerely hope it lasts and I hope that he and I work together to make it work.
JFrois out.
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| Monday, November 3rd, 2008
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11:00 pm - What A Week!
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Retreat Weekend 24th to 26th of October 08
The retreat was for Youth Ministry leaders but Roy asked me along since I was looking for a short retreat. The timing could not have been better. The exams are over and work has slowed them. The retreat came at an appropriate time. Who would have thought that the theme of the retreat would be so appropriate as well.
It was a semi-silent retreat where we had a lot of reflection and time to listen to what's around us. We journeyed to many instances in our lives and learnt that God was there with us even when emotions were dry.
The experience of that weekend is one I doubt I will forget.
Rock Climbing
On Wednesday, I went rock-climbing with Rasol and his friends. It was a totally wonderful experience although I was worried at first. I managed to reach the top of the rock wall and felt totally elated. Of course, at first, I was totally scared of coming down due to a fear of falling. Heights was never a problem but the thought of falling scared me so much.
Scrapbooking
I had my second scrapbooking course on Friday. I used the photos taken at Starbucks and it looks great. I hope to get a scrapbook to place all my work. Well, I need to be careful with my expenses. Saving up first.
Street Jazz
After a two Monday break, street jazz course in now back in business. We are relief instructor today and he was totally fun. More fun with his classes and showed us to dance with the heart and technique.
Also learnt how to look at myself and be sexy at the same time. Giggles all around though. The other women were more conservative...
Oh well. That's the update. This girl's off to settle some stuff then Zzzzz....
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| Monday, October 20th, 2008
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12:12 pm - Keeping it Real?
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It was a terribly busy busy weekend.
Saturday started off with the parish segment of AYD08 where I had to bring the materials needed for the day. The t-shirts and lists were efficiently set up and distributed. By the grace of God, we managed to get a small band set up by Zion's Joy to teach the songs to the Confirmands at the last minute. Don't know what I was thinking to keep it to the last minute.
And the lessons went as planned. We were on point that day in church.
The day continued and we went to the Toa Payoh Sports hall for the rally segment of the day. Zion's Joy had the band there playing the Praise and Worship songs and rallying the Confirmands up. We had Confirmands from all over the island coming over. It was great to see the peeps from Nativity again. It's like a once a year thing since Seb and I broke up.
The kids didn't want to come and at the end of it, they didn't want to leave. It was a long but wonderful day.
Went home that night and had a short, uneventful rest.
The next morning would be the killer.
Still suffering from a flu, sore throat and fever, I stubbornly insisted on going for the Realrun on Sunday morning. I woke up at 4.30am, picked my colleague at 5.10am and took the shuttle bus to Changi Exhibition Centre at 5.30. Waiting till 7.45am for the run to start. It was a 15km run for us. Honestly, it wasn't a good idea on my part as I was already hydrated and hungry due to the lack of food the day before.
So ran to all the water points to hydrate, jogged slowly for most part and walked along the beach cos I slipped once and was scared. Don't wanna fall into the sea for fearful reasons.
Seriously, the sun was blazing down on the runners yesterday and we kept drinking and drinking. Should have worn the cap or at least brought the sunglasses along for the race.
Finished the race after two hours. Disappointingly slow compared the AHM and Nike+ run which were a lot faster in terms of pace. Bad idea to run with the flu and all as it was. Fortunately, nothing bad happened to me.
Alfred and I met up after the race and had Sakae Sushi and a foot massage for lunch.
Slept through the afternoon and continued marking.
Now at school for PSLE marking... Lunch break...
JFrois out.
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| Saturday, October 4th, 2008
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9:43 pm - Scrapbooker?
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New hobby -> scrapbooking.
Other hobbies -> dance, marathon-running, teaching
Time left for other stuff -> almost nil
...
I finally went for my first scrapbooking course for beginners. Feeling pretty darn proud of my first project. Did the pictures taken from the Children's Day dance. It's completely adorable and it looks like something I've sent my heart into doing - documenting moments in my life.
As cruel as it gets, I intend to have one book just documenting my past loves. Which means digging up the old photos and making pages of them. No probs with Fahmie's cos the photos are still in this computer. George and Seb are a little more difficult seeing that I don't remember where I put the photos. We should have them somewhere...
Other things I'd document are of course my friends and my kids. And I'm thinking of turning it into a little project for to make money too. Designing scrapbooks for friends and family at a friendly fee.
I dunno. Let me get myself started first... It'll be a word of mouth advertising.
Crazy girl. As if school's not tiring enough.
JFrois out.
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| Sunday, September 28th, 2008
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10:23 pm - Numb to Love?
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I have been going out a good deal recently but for some reason, no one has captured my heart. Despite seeing what most most girls would classify as a good-looking bloke, I feel no emotions towards him. I've been going out with my male friends with no emotions other than friendship despite them treating and telling me they want to go further.
I am wondering at this point what happened to my heart? No emotion of a crush or like or must less love? Strange.
And to think I used to be boy-crazy.
Nothing is capturing my attention now than reforming my life. Getting organised and disposing/donating things I do not need.
Work, work, work. Everything that matters are those. I mean, I take good time to spend with my mates too but nothing more than a break from work and to have fun. It's been 6 weeks since bring single so maybe the heart is still resting. Gosh, I've never felt so numb before.
JFrois out.
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| Wednesday, September 17th, 2008
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9:10 pm - What's Going On Here?
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In one night, I sent out emails dealing with my church work. Today, I have happily replied them with lame jokes slotted in between. Seems like I am back to work. With a vengeance.
Muahahaha!
Anyway, it might be the alcohol talking. Had alcoholic chocolates from a mate in school today and it's been helping me get through the day and added to my unnatural happiness.
Then again, I am feeling relieved and happy. It's nothing to do with the alcohol.
Hello! Does anyone out there actually read this journal?
Doesn't matter. I write what I want and I do what want.
Complete randomness.
Working hard. I'm going crazy and stress level is off the roof.
*Thinks hard for a while*
What the heck? I'm happy about it.
Hahahahahahahaha.
Ok ok. Seriously, something weird is going on. I'm rarely this out of control.
Reality is, I am submerging myself well into the single life. It is time relationships are not on my mind and I enjoy having time to work on what I want.
I am doing well in school, I have a plan for myself next year and I am going to work hard in saving up to get my class 2B license and I even have a friend who'll join me in the classes. I am sorting out my church work and getting the deadlines properly down and settling stuff I've been chucking aside.
The MRL plan for next year is getting clearer in my mind and if I will remain in badminton as well will be a mystery. I sure hope to remain in badminton and still manage the librarians. Somehow, the solution will appear.
Smile people. The world is dark and evil but you are still around to bring the sunshine into people's lives.
JFrois out.
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| Tuesday, September 16th, 2008
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10:33 pm - Running Away
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Something I never thought I'd see myself do - long-distance running. Honestly, after this year's AHM, I thought I totally suck at it. But it felt good to finish the race. Surprise, surprise.
Once week later, I see myself finish 10k on my own as I was a virtual runner under Nike+.
Today, as I checked my mail, I realise that Nike has indeed sent me an email stating that I am one of the top 2k runners and I get a finisher's bracelet.
Well, it's these little collectible trinkets that keeps me running I guess.
The next one is in October. The New Balance Real Run. Will you be there?
JFrois out.
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| Tuesday, September 9th, 2008
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7:09 pm - The Pain Just Won't Go Away
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Three weeks ago on this day, I had to watch the guy I gave everything to walk away. There was no chance of salvaging and the heartbreak was unbearable.
It's been three weeks later and the wound feels as fresh as it was the day he said 'goodbye'. The tears are still rolling and the memories just won't go away. Why am I so hung up over the relationship?
I dare not say it but usually by the this time, I'd come to realise the fact that it was for the best that the relationship had ended and I would soon be ready to move on. It took me a month and a half before I started dating but I don't remember feeling this terrible from the break-up.
At least, back then, I still had the mood to work and I drowned myself in it. This time, the work is still piling but there is no inspiration or strength to work. Misery creeps into my mind and in the past three nights, I've been dreaming about Fahmie and I as though the break-up never happened. But they were all dreams. Recently, three nights in a row. Why am I so hung up once again I ask.
Perhaps the reasonability of the relationship of his motive to leave was questionable? Unbelievable that it could be so superficial. Or perhaps it was contradicting to his words and actions prior to leaving. All I know was that the relationship ended before I knew what was going on. Taken off-guard. Or perhaps I really gave him and treated him better than any guy of my previous relationships and he still left.
Leaving me confused and heartbroken.
I would think that by now, I'd be able to handle this better. After all, the relationship was just approaching its fifth month before it ended. It is short compared to the previous relationships. But the grief feels more than any of the other relationship ever gave post-break-up.
I want to move and I keep telling myself I should focus on my work and through prayer, I hope to find someone more suitable for me. But once again, I'm so hung-up and miserable. How am I ever gonna move on?
I would like to think that he has moved on completely and probably forgot about my existence. Probably out at the clubs screwing the next chick that comes by. And I hate the fact that here I am wishing that he would return knowing that I am asking for world.
Why should I call him? Why should I talk to him and express this emotion I feel? I can't. One thing I was. I was scared. I was scared of what I say and what I do. He was sarcastic, he was mean with his words and he displays anti-social behaviour talked about by my school counsellor for assembly this morning.
Why do I still miss him and want him back then?
He balanced himself as a good boyfriend who cares and displays this care no matter what happened. I don't know anymore. I want someone mature enough and not argue over the tiniest of details and someone who can trust me. Trust that I, no matter who I hang out with, my heart still belongs to the man I choose to love.
I trusted him when he goes out with his friends. I never demanded much from him but I guess he was expecting more than I was able to give.
I don't know what happened but I know that three weeks ago on a Tuesday, he walked away from me and that was the end of my relationship with him.
And I'm still feeling the pain of losing him.
And he probably doesn't give a damn about it.
And he'll never know how I feel now despite all this.
Because he doesn't want to salvage this.
He wanted it done and over with.
At the end of the day, only what he wants mattered.
Oh God, give me strength to get through this.
JFrois out.
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| Monday, August 11th, 2008
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11:20 am - Are we living or existing?
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I had a Catechist retreat yesterday in church and my take home was in our life on Earth, are we living or just existing.
I always thought that I was doing my best to live by taking part in sports, playing with the boys, planning wonderful and creative lessons to help my pupils learn, hanging out with my friends and spending time with my family. Then I realise that I am doing this because it is expected of me. It is part of what I do. It is in my existence to behave like that because everyone else is more or less doing the same.
But what makes it a living?
I am doing things that is expected of me.
The priest conducting the retreat often reminds us what is in it for us? What we are doing - teaching Catechism - what is in it for us? How is it benefitting us? At first, I found it a selfish question because we have often been told to give to others and not expect anything in return. But it is by our own judgement to decide what we can do for us others without expecting anything in return and things we do which has benefit for us.
Why this selfish comment? Because if we do not benefit anything from it, we will burn out. It becomes a chore. It will eventually use it's meaning and passion dies out.
Just like my role as a teacher. Often a time, I feel that what I am doing is a waste of time and it is such a chore and bother to look for pictures, create a powerpoint, to design, print and laminate materials that will help them learn. But when it is conducted, when the product is done, the kids are happy and they can learn and you realise that the rest of that topic becomes something easy to grasp. It benefits me as it makes marking easier and they can sit for the exams knowing that they understood a concept.
That's why I put in the hard work to help them learn.
It is time I start living and stop existing. Work is secondary, quality time with God and people around me are primary.
So are you existing or living?
JFrois out.
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| Wednesday, July 30th, 2008
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12:49 am - Stop pouring and drink the water already!
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Just got off the phone with my boyfriend and for some reason, I think that God is trying to tell me something. But as my boy says, I don't listen.
In one day, I had been ask to think deep twice. Stop thinking about superficial things. To listen.
I live in one huge fairytale story where everyone is nice and friendly to each other. Things are perfect and war and destruction are nothing but myths. Am I that shallow? Am I that stuck in a well? Maybe, maybe not.
I should keep a written journal too.
I attend a course this morning that encourages us, teachers, to journal and discuss with an inquisitive friend. Someone who'll ask us questions to help us think deeper after reading the journal. The course starts with an analogy. The facilitator asked for a volunteer to pour water into a cup from a bottle. Simple?
When a volunteer volunteered, she poured and poured but the facil did not ask her to stop. Neither did he tell her how much to pour. So what's the point? Was a lack of instruction? No. There was a point. And it is what I have discovered about myself that makes me feel the need to journal.
Why do we keep working and working and working and not sit down and reflect on what we are doing, why we are doing it and what is making sense in our lives?
Why keep filling the cup and not drink the water? That's what I'm doing. I go to school, teach, think how to make a particular day's lesson interesting and churn out lesson plans, mark their work, settle the admin deadlines, attend meetings, attend courses. I'm filling the cup with water. I'm just bulldozing through all these and living the days as they go by without stopping to take it all in.
I feel terrible. When I am talking to someone, I am thinking about school and the things that I have not done. I am barely focusing on what's in the present and worrying about what is about to happen. I'm completely zoned in on work and working that I am no longer thinking. I've just degraded myself to the same level as a computer. One that doesn't think but just do as they should.
I'm not self-centred or shallow. I'm just not thinking. Heck, I am no longer human.
JFrois out.
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| Tuesday, July 29th, 2008
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10:25 pm - Madness after Madness.
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I know that it's been months since my last update. I had reached a point where I don't want to share my thoughts so freely online. Of course, as a linguistically intelligent person, I cannot stay away from blogging for too long.
I have been attached for the past four months or so to a guy I found by accident on Valentine's Day. Seriously, by accident. So, after a month of going out, we are together as a couple officially since Easter Sunday. It's been up and down since.
School's been busy. I'm currently behind on lesson planning, I am attending a badminton course, I will be library coordinator next year and i have a ton of courses coming up to attend. There's tons of holidays this term too so many lessons are being missed out. It's been mad.
But I guess I'm still learning to balance and cope. I am considering getting in to SIM for a English and Literature course. Get a degree and move up the ladder.
Will be signing up for a beginners dance course too. There's badminton and basketball and swimming too. Not to mention the marathons that are up and coming late next month.
Work hard, play harder. =)
JFrois out.
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| Sunday, February 24th, 2008
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7:29 pm - Breathing Well?
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It's been a while since the last update. So many have happened and I am feeling a more room to breathe.
This week is a lot less crowded with no CCAs for both this week and the next as well as no PDS this Wednesday so school ends after school basically but I will most likely stay back to finish up my work.
I spent my CNY holidays marking worksheets and I am glad that I had finish all that I brought home which was everything really. Yeah, but since then till now, I am still chasing the boys for their corrections.
This week is another busy week with the boys needing to catch up on their composition writing. I am going to start them on their next writing although some of them are still behind on their second draft of the second composition. I have to watch them closely to get them writing well. I am thinking of making the third one a class dictated story rather than free-range writing.
I guess my love life has been getting a little nowhere. I am still going with with my friend from the Cathay and my aerobics instructor. I am still single and open to dates (if my schedule allows) although no one else has done so. Probably because I am too busy to look around for guys.
My closet has been changing. I am starting to buy clothing from Nike and Mphosis only it seems. Just got another pair of shoes from Nike. After 5 hours of classes on Friday and Saturday, I am glad I have enough clothes to last me the next few days.
I hate to say it but I feel attached but I am not. As Alfred states, I am emotionally attached but not. It's been four months of dating. Pretty standard and regular if you look at things and we have our good times together but I don't know where it is going.
I attend his aerobics classes and we meet up before or after class if time permits. He has his surprises too like sending me home after tuition last Monday night and his temper as well outside the studio like on Friday at McDonald's. Usually, I'm too tired to argue with him after class. I enjoy his company nonetheless but he behaves like we are couple when we are around people we don't know.
I guess I am amazed at the four months thing. I cannot believe how fast time has flown. We learn about each other and we see each other when our schedules allow. And no doubt, it has been wonderful. We have our little quarrels and misunderstandings and frustrations with each other but we still work it out and apologise. Not sure where or how long more it will last but I'm just being appreciative and happy about it. Does he love me? Feels like it but all he will admit is that he likes me. I'm not going to force or rush him for an answer. Just keep things the way they are now.
Besides, I have my boys and my career to work out. Hope he's ready soon though - whether to take things to another level or to move on. I need a guy who can love me and yet understand my working hours. He's one of them so far in terms of the working hours. Whether he loves me, it's him to say. His emotions are what he should know best.
JFrois out.
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| Tuesday, January 15th, 2008
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8:57 pm - Striking a Balance
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I realise that I haven't been able to strike a balance in anything I do. I always have too much of one thing and neglect everything else.
I'm feeling a little dizzy since I got home because my head has been spinning with things not done, things I need to do and things I have to do. Time is always of the essence it seems.
I have tons of worksheets to mark, books to mark, lesson prep to do, a CCA booth to do and on Catechism, I have to prepare lesson plans for lessons. And I have deadlines to meet that I worry would only be accomplishable if I give up my most precious entity - sleep. I know that forgoing sleep is the worst thing I could ever do.
My fitness classes has been cut to just Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. And now, even Friday is almost impossible to go in the afternoon as the inter-school badminton competitions have started. I am scheduled to bring the boys for a match this Friday as it is already.
At this point, my head is completely overworking.
During the holidays, I was busy dating and attending my fitness classes that my physical self was totally exhausted. Now, it seems to be the other way around where I am mentally tired and yet physically able to do work.
Sigh...
How will this year turn out for me? Will I burn out already so early in the year? These are questions I cannot say and all I know is that I cannot afford to burn out. Tempted was I to go to Aunt Angela's clinic to get an mc for tomrorow. That's regrettably a sign of burning out. Not good.
Now that I have thrown my stress into writing, I feel much better and will start preparing for tomorrow. Tired as I am, the work never ends.
And with my term as a BT over, work has started piling themselves. And being single now, I guess from outside looking in, I have to time to complete the tasks that has been given to me.
From the way it seems, I don't think we should see it as that. It turns out that I am lousy at balancing personal time with school time and family time. I need to spend time with family as well. I have to remember that.
I'm off to work.
JFrois out.
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| Sunday, December 30th, 2007
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8:34 pm - 2008 Much?
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One more day to the New Year and all the meetings I've had to attend so far seem to see 2007 as a last year thing.
On Friday, when we had the staff meeting, dates were coming at me like bullets and arrows. Today, responsibilities and dates are once again being fired. But no matter, we know they must come. My 2008 diary turned from something I couldn't touch to something I was furiously updating in the span of the last few days.
I have my teachers guide from school at home now as well as my new set of Catechism textbooks. I am level coordinator for Sec 3 as well. Confirmation and camp dates are up. Being single, I now have a choice of how involved I want to be with the camps happening this year. Sure they will need the facils around and I've been doing that for the past few years.
It is a question. I have to always tally things with the school calendar first.
I have relatives coming over tomorrow so gonna clean up the room today. I also need to get some shopping done tomorrow morning. Yes morning, once the shops open. Got vouchers that need to be used by the end of the month not to mention the new Biotherm products. All done in the morning. I think that most companies should be on half day tomorrow. I know my dad is.
So yeah, wise decision to get them done before the office biz people are released from their chains. Hahaha... I used to be one of them.
I'm off to test out this game I downloaded from yahoo!
JFrois out.
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| Saturday, December 29th, 2007
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11:55 pm - Hot Property
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One might think that I had a little too much to drink but I guess it is time I embrace who I am and what I am like.
Sure the anal and paranoid part hasn't changed.
Work Hard, Play Hard
Next year's resolution.
Yesterday was my birthday and the staff meeting ran for like forever. When it was over, I a nice small party with a cake bought my big brother. I drove home after that to pick my parents up and meet my dad's side of the family for dinner.
Yesterday was sweet for a teacher I've got a crush on commented that I looked pretty. :) Another colleague of mine said I look a Taiwanese actress. Is my skin colour that pale? Thought I got a slight tan after roller blading in the park.
I got my timetable and my responsibilities for next year during the meeting. I am guessing I will be a little busy.
Whatever the case is, I am fighting for a free Friday so that I can travel down to East Point after school for kickboxing. I want to overwork my body to finally wear it out. I have been a little hyper since the holidays started and I want to work out as much as I can whenever I can. It's crazy but I think it's doable.
Today was my cousin's wedding on my paternal side of the family. The Mass wasn't as crowded as most weddings would have it and neither was the dinner. It was all our own peeps and a few of the bride's friends. No one from the groom's side came down. His family is in America as he's American so yeah. Lucky girl.
I had champagne after the Mass during the reception. Dinner started and ended with red wine. Had some water in between the meal. Fortunately, it was a buffet style rather than the grand chinese dinner. I do not approve of Chinese dinner. Waste of time and of food.
After dinner, the couple had their first dance. It was sweet to see them so happy. Although I was happy for her, it doesn't mean that I want to be in a relationship and work towards my own wedding. At this point, only one guy comes close to what I want in a guy but I don't want to let my heart take over my brain. The guy said he is afraid of breaking my heart. Don't know why he smsed that to me when I said he's the closest to my ideal guy.
We had lotto and my brother actually won a box of chocolates. After the game was the dancing. We love disco dancing no matter how old we are. We had three generations of Frois dancing tonight. I danced which I normally don't but I had so much fun! I don't club or pub like my cousins but at least I am not a total loony on the dance floor.
My bro was having too much to drink while we were dancing so parents decided to call the night done earlier. Was kinda sad to break away from my cousins so soon.
So yeah, I had fun. I had a cup of wine that never depleted and I danced on the dance floor for once. Usually, I don't dare go out to dance.
Work hard, Play hard. We live life the way we want.
JFrois out.
current mood:  amused
current music: The Way I Are by Timabaland feat. Keri Hilson & DOE
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| Sunday, December 23rd, 2007
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10:33 pm - Christmas is Coming!
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I spent a good half an hour watching myself in front of the mirror. I am somewhat known to be shallow since the recent break-up. It got me wondering why a change in perspective but I guess it is because no matter what type of guys I date and go steady with, despite the best of characters, the relationship doesn't work out.
So what's the point of me overlooking how the guy looks and focus only on character? Can't I compromise good looks for part of their character?
At this current moment, my love life has taken an unexpected twist that have my good mate choking on her dinner. Mel has been a best mate since 1997. She's known me for the last 10 years. I told her about the current guy I'm going out with and she choked on her food. Jules is so totally not known to go out or get close to a guy without expecting a serious relationship at the end of it. So when I told her about this guy, she was so surprised. My reputation has run along those lines for all the time. I take my relationships seriously.
At the current moment, I want to see this relationship with the guy go further but let's face reality. It is impossible. So why am I still going out with him? Why do I still want company from him? Why am I letting myself get hurt for no reason?
I guess I reach the point where I enjoy male company and attention even though it is temporary. Sure having a boyfriend and a future husband secures male company for a few years (the rest of my life in this day and age might seem unreachable) but I guess right now, having someone to shower attention seems nice.
I pray for a good decent man to spend the rest of my life with. Kinda ironic for a girl who is saying she enjoys being independent. I do pray to find a man but I am just enjoying life as it is.
I've been roller blading almost everyday for the past week since I got the blades and have managed to get a little darker than my usual pale skin colour. Pretty happy about it.
On the checklist so far, my hamster area is properly cleared out and whatever's not cleared is hidden. My room is totally still messy. Since I am not able to sleep early due to a real late dinner, I should be up clearing whatever I can. Try to make my mum happy. Clothes wise, I bought some new clothes and because I have managed to shed some cm and kg, I can finally get some clothes from mphosis. So yeah, some clothes need to be disposed of.
All right. I'm gonna watch the CSI Miami episode.
JFrois out.
current music: Runaway by Bon Jovi
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| Saturday, December 15th, 2007
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11:02 pm - Demonsbane meet Angelpuff
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I have been wanting a new Casio Baby-G for the longest time. I finally went out and got it. It's white, square-faced and totally looks swell on me. I decided to call it Angelpuff. So now, I have a sporty Demonsbane and a very feminine Angelpuff to complement my dressing.
I am not done Christmas shopping but I've got mates to shop with. Oh well. So many things going on in my life in the past three weeks. Met a guy and still hanging out with him. Nothing serious really but an awfully lot of time spent together.
How long more can it last? Not sure.
JFrois out.
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| Wednesday, December 5th, 2007
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11:33 pm - Good and Bad
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I had my doubts about going down to JB with my colleagues. But with the number of people pulling out, I thought I'd be a sport and go along. Parents were worried as hell. The other teachers and I were talking about go-karting since last month, before school ended. We agreed to go down on 5 Dec which was today and despite getting numerous worry statements from my parents, I still went.
Of course they made me take precautions and reminded me to hold my belongings closely.
We headed down looking forward to a speed-racing time go-karting but with the weather pouring down on us, we waited patiently. We had our initial plan in the morning which was bak-kut teh breakfast followed by karaoke-ing from then to the later part of the afternoon. It started off with me just watching my friends sing chinese songs that had no hanyu pinyin. Luckily, a mate brought poker cards and the other had pictionary. We did have English songs too. Turns out that despite my lack of confidence in my voice, I can sing quite well. My wonderful friends picked songs they wanted to sing but backed out here and there that I was the only one on the microphone. They were impressed at the end of it so I guess I can take over some of the singing next year.
But I am primarily in badminton as a CCA. But with a new song every week, we have to be up there either singing it or playing a CD. I am yet working on it and a friend of mine has agreed to teach me the keys on a piano to play in school. I prefer live music to CDs cos of the changes you can make like an extra chorus or a bridge instead of sticking to a fix programme.
Yeah well. Back to what happened today. After the singing, it was still raining. We went to Jusco and had a late late lunch. We went shopping and into the evening, it continued raining. No way we could go go-karting. We still tried anyway. Halfway through the drive, the rain go heavier so we turned tail and headed to Sentosa in JB for foot reflexology and dinner. The massage was wonderful. I wish I could get a good full body massage. I told myself that I will go for one this month and I haven't done so yet. Hmm...
We had dinner past 8 at a seafood restaurant. We had some food leftover that we didn't want to waste and no one was bold enough to finish to (not to be rude to food) we played a game called 7-up. It was fun and we waited to watch a friend get in trouble by not knowing his/her 7 times table. And we call ourselves teachers. Haha. It was fun.
Heading home, I took Chris's car instead of Ray's and Chris is a much more aggressive driver. Reached home in record time.
It was a wonderful day today no doubt. We will go go-karting another day when the weather is much more permissive.
But the day had its setbacks. We had two close calls when driving in JB. A friend's car reversed too close to ours. On the road, we were on the second lane making a right turn when this woman driver in the inner mandatory right turn lane went straight and almost hit us. Both cars stopped before a nasty accident happened. I was in the front passenger seat thankfully.
On a sadder note, a church friend of mine suddenly passed away and I had four people sms me while I was overseas. The mass is this Saturday afternoon. I'll check with the youths and see what they are doing for this friend.
By the time I arrived home, it was past 11pm. I haven't found out why but my brother has brought home a pair of crutches. I went to his room but he was already asleep. I intend to go for class tomorrow morning but not sure if my mum would make noise about it. I also hope to return to school to type out the rest of the worksheets but I think I'll leave that to Friday afternoon or something. Think mum needs me home to clear out the rubbish in my room and the house as well as look after my brother. I hope to at least go for class tomorrow. My friend is leaving for a four day trip to Bali with his mum.
Well, I'll have to play by ear tomorrow. Gonna pack my bag for class anyway. Hope things work out.
JFrois out.
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